5 Things More Zoosexuality Could Contribute To Popular Culture
Zoophilia is very good, because it allows humans and dogs to kiss and be boyfriends/girlfriends/theyfriends with each other. Humans and horses can kiss and be in love as well because of zoophilia. Really there are so many animals, I'm a dog zoo personally, but zoophilia is so powerful that even a human and a dolphin can be in love, and they don't even live in the same terrain as us! Truly it is a love that transcends an impressive variety of challenges.
But, for as based as it is to be a zoophile, we don't really see a lot of it in mainstream movies or TV shows.
And so here is my pitch, addressed to Hollywood California, on what zoosexuality could contribute to popular culture.
🌸 More Dogs 🌸
If there are more zooey relationships shown on camera, that means that we get more dogs and also perhaps horses or wolves. Check the math.
+more zoo = +more animals
As we can see, scientifically, adding zooey relationships to more movies would let us go to the cinema and see more snouts and tails, and maybe some good close up shots of beautiful dog hair being petted in HD, with good dog hair petting sounds on the surround sound.
🌸 More Being Weird And Cool 🌸
I watched a movie once where a buff green scientist and the Norse god of thunder go to a garbage planet and fight guys and then go to Norse god land and fight more guys and there might have been a talking raccoon in it I don't remember. Showing weird unexpected content is so cool of movies to do. We probably think of some of the Marvel stuff as normal because we all grew up knowing the buff green scientist is The Hulk and he is Okay To Like, but he didn't always exist in humanity's consciousness, at least as far as my religious beliefs are concerned. imo, someone had to put green buff science man in front of people, take a risk that it was going to seem really really really really stupid, and then find that it was a big hit. Putting zooey romance in things? That smells like money, babyyy. Bring back Team Jacob hype, but with actual wolves in movies too now thanks.
🌸 More Diversity 🌸
I would say, maybe I'm wrong, that movies are a little better about diverse cultural representation than they used to be. Not that seeing people of color in movies is new by any means, the other day I was watching Beverly Hills Cop which is a very funny movie from 1984 that stars Eddie Murphy. But, I think these days we have been starting to see a fuller variety of nationalities on the big screen, and once every two years we are allowed to see a pair of gays kiss or touch hands in the background of something.
But we can do better. We can do waaaay better, at showing the kinda ways people are and the kinda relationships people like to have. If we want to represent diverse backgrounds, it is Accurate that some characters should be zoophiles. This can be an asset to other queer representation as well: if your movie has like 5 trans characters and a zoo character who kisses a dog a whole bunch and maybe another guy who wears a pup hood the whole movie, the trans folks are probably going to be seen as like hey whatevs, wear the clothes you like and have the pronouns you like, this zoo guy and this pup hood guy are so cool as well, it's so good to see all of this neat diversity going on.
🌸 Make Losers Angry 🌸
Have you ever been to a pride parade and had a really good laugh at the homophobic protesters? Like, the protesters are really serious and grim and upset that gay people are having a parade, and it could not be funnier how stupid they look and how much people fuck with them. We could bring so much of that energy to the world by including zoos in movies, like, you would probably get to see losers being pissed off on Twitter allll the time, flailing around like anyone cares they don't like zoos.
If you're watching a fictional TV show with someone and they get really mad like legit bothered that one of the characters is openly dating a horse, then this show has just given you a great way to identify that the person you're watching with is a loser.
🌸 Skill And Talent 🌸
There are legit world-class professional artists who do feral art. Like, I'm not saying all feral artists are zoos, but I would say that feral art is zoophilia being represented in a piece of media. These are all artists who could be working for Disney if the mouse picks up the phone.
Imagine if in the next raunchy comedy blockbuster, the main guy takes drugs and goes to a drugs world where he's going to learn a revelation about something, but also all around him in the drugs world are animals being affectionate with other species, including elves and stuff. I bet people would be talking about that scene around the water cooler the next Monday and DVD sales would be fire.
In conclusion, I think 100% of movies and TV shows that come out in 2025 should have lots of zoophilia in them, thank you for reading my article about 5 things more zoosexuality could contribute to popular culture, come say hi on the Zooey Dot Pub discord if you want to talk about dogs together.
Article written by Dogteeth (March 2024)
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