Rare Zoo Types

Okay so I have this idea, right? I think in a lot of stories from zoos, be they fiction or reality, we see certain kinds of "coming out" stories. We see a lot of stories of worrying about whether coming out to friends will be alright, worrying about whether coming out to romantic partners will be alright, worrying about whether coming out to parents will be alright. I am HERE for all of those kinds of stories, they are very relatable, I am invested in seeing what happens. BUT, it just makes me wonder...
 
Surely, if so many people are zoosexuals, aren't there other kinds of "coming out" stories we don't hear about as much?
 
Like, let's switch the pov quickly, and just imagine that YOU are Joe Everyman. You have a wife and kids, a salaried job that pays the bills, you vote, you hang out with some of your old college buddies most weekends. It certainly COULD happen that one of your kids comes out to you as a zoo one day, or one of your college buddies finally tells you that those times with him and that one pony weren't just a joke and he actually does think of animals that way even to this day, or maybe even your wife lets you know that the family's dog does a lot more for her than you do. BUT... those aren't the only people in your life, are they? You have a boss who COULD be a zoo. You have a tax accountant who COULD be a zoo...
 
And I just think it would be a little interesting to brainstorm a small little list of kinds of people who might be zoos.
 
Parents
 
If there are some zoos out there who are into humans and non-humans, then it definitely makes sense that there could be happy parents out there who have not been human exclusive all their lives.
 
And I could imagine that if someone has been a super zoo all their lives, and also they happen to have children who grow up to also be cool and queer-positive, then that kind of thing might come up, you know? "Oh hey Billy how was the pride festival with your boyfriend, oh that's awesome I'm glad you had a good time yeah I agree getting to be your unhidden self is really important, yeah back in the day me and Jacob who as you know was my Great Dane bf went to every pride festival wearing matching pride stuff and we also heckled the protesters just like you did haha, it's good to see you carrying on the tradition. Yeah I talked all about it on episode 3,009 of Zoo & Me if you're interested in hearing the whole thing, you and Billy might get a hoot out of it."
 
Or even like, there is a horse in the barn who is REALLY a part of the family, and having to keep that in the closet is a burden, no matter who you are, if you're trying to be emotionally authentic with your loved ones. And so maybe it doesn't end up being a closeted matter forever.
 
I can say with confidence that none of my dalliances in life could have ever led me to being a parent even if I wanted to be, so, I can't claim to be an expert here on the details of how these things might play out on the parent side of things. All I'm saying is that, for sure some people's parents are zoosexuals, and that is just, noteworthy to me.
 
Politicians
Okay like. It has to be some of them, right?
 
Imagine if it was YOUR representative, and they come out and are like "Yeah by the way, I do love animals like that, and guess what, I'm not just going to be a pushover about letting animals be slaughtered and exploited anymore, and I'm not going to put up with any discrimination against my fellow queers either. I am going to fight with every ability I have within my power to enact the kinds of change zoos have been dreaming of."
 
Or even one who is casually just like, "Yeah I've played around with some four-leggers. It's not really related to my policy at all. It was fun and respectful and I am a zoo, but I think there's a lot going on that's a way bigger deal, and I would like us to all focus our attention on what's most urgent."
 
Like, the first case would be the most based for sure, but I think even the second case would kind of just be cool as well. Like, oh wow I'm finally really being represented in my government, what a fun new experience.
 
Pilots
What if every aircraft pilot in the world all at the same time came out as a zoo? Like, whether they were presently on the ground, or whether they were in the air and made the announcement over the PA that they were coming out as a zoosexual, all of them at the exact same time reveal that they are attracted to animals.
 
We'd... still want planes, probably?
 
I'm not going to google how many pilots there are in the world, but I am going to confidently guess that there are way more zoos than pilots, because less than 1 in 100 people are pilots, I would really think. So like... all pilots being zoos would be an unexpected correlation, but it wouldn't be outlandish at all in terms of absolute numbers.
 
I think if someone wouldn't be able to deal with the possibility of their pilot being a zoosexual, then they probably shouldn't fly, since that kind of thing might happen you never know.
 
Basically, I just have to assume there are zoosexuals in all kinds of roles in the world that we never hear about, and there's probably reasons for that and everything, but, I find it neat to consider.
 
Article written by Crustabulous Jr
 
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