Dogteeth's Letter to Santa
Dear Santa,
Thank you for the plane tickets you got me last year to fly from America to Germany to go meet so many cool zoophiles irl for a week. It was so fun!
I hope you have been having a fun year too at the North Pole. Recently I saw a Christmas movie called Red One, and in it the reindeer are way huge!! Is it really like that?? They're way taller than humans even, in the movie they stand in front of the reindeer and then throw carrots up really high to them for them to catch and eat. I also liked that the reindeer are called ladies and that you refer to your bodyguard as "their boyfriend" and then we see that the reindeer and him are really affectionate to one another. I thought your movie was really cool overall, and PLEASE let me know if the reindeer are really that big, it's ok if it was camera tricks to make them seem that big for the movie, but I would love to know all about the reindeer situation.
I have been very good this year. Me and a dog have been playing a lot of fetch, which has been great to get her the exercise she needs (she's a very hyperactive breed) and it's also a bunch of fun for both of us. We love romping around, play growls and wags, and shouting "gooood catch!" There is also the playful way she sometimes leads me around by dropping the ball and making me think she's going to let me pick it up, but then she grabs it before I can, and she circles back a few feet while wagging and then drops the ball again and then tricks me again and grabs it. I have been making sure to clean up after her at the park because it's polite to do for others, and I have been giving her parts of my sandwiches.
I remember in your note with the plane tickets you got me last year, one of the things you said was, "Eurofurence isn't until September, which is a long time away from Christmas, but this will give you many months to plan how to pack your bags in advance and not just randomly stuff fistfuls of clothing into the first suitcase you find and zip it up and grab your passport and leave." I waited several months and then randomly stuffed fistfuls of clothing into the first suitcase I found and zipped it up and grabbed my passport and left, and as I was getting my bag looked at by TSA, I thought, "Wow, Santa really does know when you're sleeping, because I slept on THAT one for sure, I hope I remembered to pack socks." Relatedly, I put off writing this letter and wasn't sure if I sent it now it would reach you at the North Pole in time, so Zooey Dot Pub is letting me put it up on the website which I know you read every Saturday and Sunday when the new articles come out (thank you)
For Tomorrow's article, Tarro will have the 2024 Year in Review coming out, I think you're going to love it!
I've been thinking of putting Christmas lights up in my room, cuz I think bedrooms I've been in in the past that have Christmas lights up are really cozy and cool. It's like, sure you could have some boring bright white light coming down from the lights in the ceiling, OR, you could have the walls casting a warm and varied blanket of different colors softly over everything! And I was just thinking, I'm sure on Amazon or something I could find a line of greenish lights, a line of brownish lights, and a line of blueish lights, and put up ZOO PRIDE FLAG COLORS CHRISTMAS LIGHTS in my bedroom!! I'm going to look into it because I think that would make me really happy and proud. Do you think it would be cool, or do you dislike that, do you have a special reason you like the Christmas light colors that you usually see? Also again reminder to please tell me about the reindeer.
Anyways, I know it's almost Christmas and you have a lot to do, so I'll wrap this up! Thank you for all your presents and for helping make the year an AMAZING year for this zoo, this year for Christmas I don't need any presents I really really just want to know reindeer deets, what are their pronouns, etc
Article written by Dogteeth (December 2024)
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