Some People Aren't Zooey At All?
One time I was browsing the internet, and I saw a video of a dog sniffing around at a park, kinda going sniffsniffsniffsniff here by the picnic table, and then trotting over and going sniffsniffsniffsniff near a sapling, and basically going back and forth, sniffing the two areas. And, this was just a dog living his best life, it definitely wasn't an adult video in any way whatsoever. But, highkey, this dog was like the most attractive person I have ever seen. I watched this video , "Oh my dog I'm immediately in love," and I went and told friends about it, even non-zoo friends, and I was like, "Okay even non-zoos have gotta give it to THIS dog, look at him!! He is THE hottest!!"
And basically, long story short, 100% of the non-zoo friends I sent that video clip to , "...yeah that's a dog? I believe you that you think that dog is hot, like, good for you. But for me, seeing a dog never makes me think of anything sexual."
And I was like, WOW. So like some people are not zooey at all, are they?
It is kinda fascinating to me. I guess I live in a world where I know, on a factual level, that I am *more* into smooching animals than the average persone call it "being a zoophile," obviously I am a zoophile and I think it's really fun and cool to be a zoophile. But, the part that trips me up sometimes is that, now and then I will be like, "But OBVIOUSLY everyone, even non-zoos, can see how amazingly beautiful and sexy Golden Retrievers are," and then I show a picture of a Golden Retriever to a non-zoo, and they don't get it at all. Like, I have this gut feeling that certain animals are SO hot that EVERYONE will be able to see it and be like "wow you're right about the whole zoo thing, good point," but then it actually turns out that, if someone doesn't find animals hot to begin with, it's like multiplying a big number by zero: "Yeah that animal certainly does have animal characteristics, but I don't find animal characteristics to be sexy, so that's going to be a 0/10 to me."
Like.
Dogs sniffing the ground and wagging?
Not enticing behavior at all to some people.
Horses?
Some people don't even see HORSES as attractive.
I guess I do understand it. Like, it helps me to think about this by thinking about asexual zoos. Because ace zoos totally still get it. Sure they may not think of animals as sexy, but they get that animals are amazing and loveable. So like, they get it.
And then, by remembering that not everyone has the same interests, I am able to remind myself, "Right. So, the average person does not have sexual feelings about animals, and does not have romantic feelings about animals." They see a horse and might be able to think, "haha that horse is doing something silly," or "this horse's mouth is tickly as I feed him a carrot, I am happy for him that he is enjoying this carrot, it's fun to get to feed a horsey horse." And then that is where the interaction ends, that's everything they wanted from interacting with a horsey, mission accomplished.
And like. One thing that is awesome, but is NOT helping me shake my feeling of "surely there are animals hot enough that everyone can see it," is that there are non-zoos who are really casual about zooiness happening around them. It's fairly common for non-zoos and zoos to date, and for the non-zoo to be like, "Yeah that's all good with me, have fun :) You sleeping with dogs is no big deal to me at all." Or even non-zoos and zoos being friends, and non-zoos being like "Ooo dish about your zoo stuff girl, I wanna hear all of it."
And like. That's fantastic. That rules. And then later I have to remind myself, "Okay they ARE non-zoos though. They are the best kind of non-zoo. We just must remember that they, themselves, are not zooey."
Like, I need to make myself notecards or something, that I can pull out of my pocket when I need to, and read, "-People have different interests besides zoosexuality."
Being a zoo surrounded by so much zoo positivity from non-zoos that it's confusing is really fun. I love it. And, to any non-zoos reading this who put up with my unceasing zooiness, thank you :3
Article written by Alissa Dogchurch (March 2025)
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