Yesterday I woke up as a Zoosexual
Sometimes people ask me why I put so much energy into the zoo community, and into zoo projects. Typically these people aren't in the community themselves. Sometimes it's outsiders looking in, sometimes it's people against zoos. Sometimes it's my real life friends who comment on it after I explain that I haven't been able to play some game or whatever yet because I've been busy writing articles. To me, it's always just been something that I've felt was the right thing to do. It's something that I think is important. But more recently I've been reflecting on that. It's been more than three years that I've been here doing this. I'm not normally the kind of person that's good at sticking to hobbies. I normally engage with something until I get the gist of it, and then drop it to pick up something new and exciting. But I can promise you at this point that I get the gist of writing articles, and I'm still here doing it. I'm not even dragging myself to have to get it done. It's something I schedule other things around, because this is the thing that I want to be doing. And after some thinking, I think I figured out the reason why this is so different.
It's because it's not a hobby. It's not something I'm just doing for fun. It is fun, but there's so much more to it than that. It's emotionally fulfilling in a way where most things can't match. It's engaging with a piece of myself that exists right in my very soul.
Yesterday I woke up as a zoosexual. I got out of bed as a zoosexual (after snuggling for a bit with my partner). I had a shower and got dressed as a zoosexual. I drove to work as a zoosexual. I spent eight hours doing tasks and chatting with coworkers as a zoosexual. I drove home as a zoosexual. I took my partner for a walk as a zoosexual. I got home and hung out with my human boyfriend for a while as a zoosexual, and then I went to bed as a zoosexual.
And while yeah, that's obvious. It's also kind of interesting to think about, isn't it? I mean, I am a zoosexual. It's a part of me. Something that's an (at this point pretty significant) piece of who I am. I know that for the rest of my life there's not going to be a point where I wake up and I'm no longer a zoosexual anymore. Every time I have a polite conversation with someone walking down the street, they're speaking to a zoosexual. Every time I get hired at a job, they're going to be hiring a zoosexual. Any time I make a new friend, they're becoming friends with a zoosexual. Most of those people don't know that. Maybe some of them will one day, but for most of them it's just going to be a random fun fact they never get to learn about the person they knew at that point.
It's strange having something that's a part of you, something so core to your personality, also be something that is so complicated. There's a thing that I've heard trans people talk about before, about identity becoming politics. Basically, if your existence is a political statement, that makes everything you do a political action. If you're not allowed to exist, existing is a statement of defiance. Essentially, you are an agent of chaos in the system even if you don't transition. I think the same is true about zoosexuality. Just my existence is something that challenges traditional beliefs, even before you get to any actual conversations about animal rights or wellfare we might want to have. To be a zoosexual is to be in opposition to the current social structure, both for humans and for animals. And since I'm always going to be zoosexual, I'm always going to be that sliver stuck in the skin of society.
And that's true even if we manage to actually accomplish things too. We've talked about this a lot, the idea that it's not going going to be a jump from "zoo bad" to "zoo good." Even when we start moving towards the right direction, that doesn't change how zoosexual I am, and how much being zoosexual is going to matter. Especially as someone who's generally been so vocal and open about things. Right now my zoosexuality is something I'm choosing to share with the internet in addition to also doing a million other things. If things pick up steam, and I have to devote more and more time to being a part of the zoo community, and if my existence becomes even more defined by my zoosexuality, I'm still at the end of the day going to bed just as zoosexual as I am today.
Even in a better world, where we finally manage to convince society that there are cool zoos actually, and that a lot of zoos love our partners and our partners love us. Where everyone is happy. I'm still zoosexual. I will always be zoosexual.
So, to answer the question of why I put so much time and effort into the zoo community, the answer is, because anything that I do is putting time and effort into the zoo community. Every breath that I take is a zoosexual breath, being pushed out of my lungs and mixing with the same air that everyone else is breathing. Every step that I take is one step for zoosexuality because that's who I am. I don't write zoo articles because I'm a writer who happens to be a zoosexual, I write because I'm a zoosexual who happens to be a writer. These words for this cause are just the words and cause that are the most me to write about.
And that's not just true of me. That's true of everyone. A zoo musician who writes a song that has nothing to do with zoosexuality is still a zoo musician. A zoo artist who draws nothing but humans is still a zoo artist. A zoo who flips burgers at McDonald's is still a zoo McDonald's employee. A zoo who cries themselves to sleep every night, hating the fact that they're attracted to animals is still a zoo. There is so much zoosexuality in the world. There are so many other splinters. There is so much zoo air.
I love the zoo community. I think we've built a space that, despite its flaws, is really beautiful. But that's not why I do what I do. I do it because being a zoosexual is who I am. If I didn't do this, I wouldn't be me.
I am a zoosexual.
Article written by Tarro (January 2025)
Find Tarro at https://twitter.com/hereforthezoo
