Zooey Dot Pub has 10,000 followers on Twitter
I remember the first time I met another zoophile in real life, on purpose, I was kind of wandering around the neighborhood unsure of what house was his, and then he appeared and had a snarky remark about how he had given me directions that would have told me what building to look for. I told him, it's good to see you, and we maybe did a bro hug, kind of shaking hands and half hugging.
I remember the second time I met another zoophile in real life, on purpose, I parked in front of his house but then wasn't sure if I parked in the right place, so I wandered back up the street, and was texting him like "can you come find me, I don't know if this guy with the barking dog is you?"
I remember the third I met another zoophile in real life, I was in an airport and I had heard that another zoo was in the same airport by coincidence, and then we passed by each other and I was like "yeah I'm pretty sure that's them." And me and them and two other furries who we met all talked for a while as we were waiting to get on our different flights.
There are ten thousand people following this website.
Like, imagine that, in real life. We could fill an airplane. We could fill show. Ten thousand people, all applauding at the idea of making out with dogs.
Imagine being in a room—with ten people who would openly tell you that they're zoophiles, they are sexually or romantically attracted to animals in real life. Chatting about encounters where a dog was immediately friendly with them and napping on their lap, or wagging and rolling over for belly rubs; debating with you whether pointy dog ears are a must-have sexy feature in dogs, or whether floppy ears are also sexy. Ten people in a room nodding and ready to chime in while one person is saying that making out with dogs is transcendental, fun, just a perfect experience. And then, imagine a whole of people who would say that.
I love being a zoophile. I am so happy to tell people about it in real life.
"Wait so are you, a zoophile?"
"Yes."
I think it's really cool that ten thousand people have tapped a button that says, "Tell me more about what zoophiles are saying."
I think we are all so right for following a magazine that is about loving animals, treating them as people. They are people. As zoos, we find ourselves with more opportunities to notice just how person-ly they truly are.
We love nuzzling animals. We love reading what others have to say about being zoophilically attracted to animals. We love getting on our phones and seeing posts like, "We all think dogs are sexy, but what dog breeds aren't described as sexy enough?"
I am a zoophile, and there are ten thousand of me here.
I think that it won't be long before zoo pride becomes a more public topic. We're getting a lot of eyeballs online, obviously. But zoo pride is also ramping up in the world that we walk around in: zoo stickers appearing on street poles and sticker boards and gas station bathrooms, zeta tattoos being displayed with righteous defiance, and a lot (like, really a lot,) of subtle zoo pride bling for those who are a little more on the downlow, but you could spot a fellow zoo if you know what kinds of things to look for and have 20-20 vision. The ever-increasing number of times I hear someone has come out to a friend or a partner or a family member, and been gladly accepted.
I know of at least three zoo-related projects that are still in development, but, if and when they go public, I think they could be the thing that makes zoos the next public talking point. Right now the US presidential election is eating up a lot of news coverage, but after that? I wouldn't be surprised if, by this time next year, we see the Zooier Than Thou art displayed on a mainstream TV news channel, or screenshots of Zooey Dot Pub's website and twitter, or a screenshot of Akito saying you should have sex with dogs. (It's probably going to be Akito saying you should have sex with dogs, isn't it?)
And I believe we're ready for it. We have made a solid foundation for ourselves: our podcasts where we can hear other dog kissers talking out loud with their real voices, our communities where we get to know one another as people and form friendships and keep memories. I used to be silent and isolated. But I have found my voice and my people. I have shared a lifetime with my dog husband that was too to ever feel doubt about whether I am in the right on this one. And I now have a sense of pride that cannot be taken from me until I'm no longer breathing. And even then my ghost is gonna be floating there like "HA, nailed it, zooey life accomplished ✌"
I have pride in being a zoosexual.
And I want to pass that feeling on to as many other zoos as I can, because, we deserve it. To all ten thousand of you reading, stay defiant, take pride in who you get to be, and maybe make out with a dog if you get the chance, it comes highly recommended, like, if you aren't a dog person then fair enough you don't have to make out with any dogs, I'm just saying that when I've made out with dogs it's been really fun, they have really nice breath and cool teeth and exploratory tongues and I like the slobbery lip fur as well and if a dog is trying to make out with you then going along with them is a good way to communicate that you two love each other.
Article written by Alissa Dogchurch (October 2024)
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