Exposing zoophiles at Eurofurence (Featuring Dogteeth)
Hey there zoofreakles, this is xxxZoophileHater666xxx here. I didn't even have to hack the system this time, that dumbass Tarrow actually *invited" me to write again, giving me the perfect chance to once again speak to my numerous zoophobic fans.
My last two articles painted the picture of how to spot a zoophile. I made it very clear for you all on how to find one of these animal touchers, but even after all that there are still more zoos out there. I even had people have the gall to ask if I was so good at catching zoos, why wasn't I catching more of them?
Now, the answer is obvious. I'm too busy with my hot girlfriend and all the money I'm making as a bounty hunter slash spy. That said, I'm not going to tolerate people talking down on the great xxxZoophileHater666xxx (that's me), so I decided to prove once and for all that I'm the greatest Zoophile Hunter of all time by infiltrating a zoophile space and showing just who these "people" are.
To start with I had to figure out where to go. That part was easy. I just Googled "zoophile convention", which obviously auto corrected to Furry Convention. The next one upcoming was Eurofurence, a convention taking place in Hamburg, Germany. As a red blooded American, it felt a little gross going to another country, especially somewhere in Eur-WOKE, but I swallowed my pride for the sake of the mission. The next thing was the cost. Of course, I am rich and have lots of money, but it's all tied up in assets and stocks and business stuff so I had to find some way to fund the trip. I posted a X post asking if anyone had a few hundred dollars I could borrow but I'm currently shadowbanned for being too based so nobody replied. So instead, I asked my mo.. I mean.. My hot girlfriend and she said she was happy I was making friends so she gave me the money.
The next part was pure luck. I posted about going to a convention to hunt zoophiles and a supporter of mine happened to DM me to see if I wanted to room with them. They declared that they were also going to be looking for zoophiles. Not like I need the help, but the camaraderie of another good soul looking to take down these ewwphiles was appreciated, so I agreed. Plus it saved on the costs which like I said doesn't matter to me.
And so there I was, on a plane crossing the Atlantic for the first time, ready to find myself some zoos.
I brought my camera to record evidence of zoophile activity, and as soon as I found my way to Hamburg I started snapping everything. As you well know, anyone could be a zoo, so I was ready to record everything and everyone. My new roommate, who introduced himself as "dogteeth", probably inspired how dogs bite zoophiles who try to abuse them or something, very cool, seemed to have a different approach. He had printed out a ton of stickers and I assume was trying to blend in, because as everyone knows zoos love huffing eggshell extract, the thing that makes their stickers so sticky. I saw Dogteeth socializing and infiltrating and I pretended to not know him, but I guess he wanted to chat about our plans. I told him I'd seen a number of "fursuits" already, a tool zoophiles use to look like animals, and that the zoophile activity was high this year. He seemed excited. He gave me some of his stickers to assist me in my assimilation as well.
We checked into the hotel after that. I of course registered the room under my celebrity name xxxZoophileHater666xxx, and explained clearly that my real name was classified, but the WOKE European hotel employee refused to give us our room. I was ready to just walk out, but Dogteeth made the sacrifice to divulge his name and info (which I of course will not be sharing out of respect). This proved to me that he was a real anti, in the same way that I am. Once we were inside of our room, he switched into his zoo hunting disguise (a skirt, which is what many of the sick nasty zoos attending the convention were wearing, probably so that they can quickly lift it up if they see a horse). He wore his fake disguise skirt the entire rest of the time we were at the convention. His passion for finding zoophiles is incredible. I would never do anything gay like that because I have too much proud masculine energy, but I very much respect the drive. While Dogteeth switched into his uniform, I took a number of photos of the venue. He invited me to come with him to get food, but I was too focused. In the zone. Out of money for discretionary spending. So instead I took my camera and headed out into the wild, eager to find evidence.
I took a ton of photos of various people self incriminating. Making animal noises. Talking about how much they love the new animal toy they bought from the "dealers den", how hot they find various species. These fools had no idea they were being exposed.
After a few hours, I headed back to the hotel room to browse twitter. I have lots of fans and engagement so obviously I need to spend a lot of time on my phone. Eventually Dogteeth came back to the room. He told me something about a zoo gang, because of course they have a gang, and then threw some kind of hand gestures at me. It seems like he must be from some kind of serious inner city group, which explained his exceptional professionalism. I told him I too was making progress on my mission, and we went to bed.
The next day was the start of my real task, the sticker wall. It's a big wall of degeneracy where these "furries" cover with stickers so there's more extract to huff. I knew if I wanted to get a real money shot exposè that would be the place to do it. I brought a camping chair and my camera, and set up shop, taking photos of so many vile things. Stickers saying things like "animal in heat" or "service animal" or "knot specialist". The way these zoophiles are so open about their perversion is abhorrid.
I will admit, the life of a zoophile hunter can be a lonely one. Dogteeth was off running his own operation, and watching crowds of these freaks laughing and enjoying themselves and having fun with their friends.. It made me feel something I never have to confront when I'm at home running my online intelligence network. But, it's worth it to conduct my operation.
Eventually, Dogteeth did end up swinging by again. He asked me how I was enjoying the convention, code of course for whether or not I'd caught any zoophiles. I told him there was "no zoophile activity", code as well to tell him I'd been capturing a lot of footage. He had to go, which worked out well considering I needed to stay vigilant and keep documenting.
This was my life for the next few days. I would wake up, eat as much from the free breakfast at the hotel as possible, and then set up camp. At the end of the trip I had two thousand photos, all valuable evidence in the fight against the zoo scourge. Did I enjoy myself? Well.. No. But enjoying stuff isn't the point. This was a work trip, and the work was good. And hey, I even made a friend in Dogteeth. Another soldier in the army. And those brief moments of connection in the room after our operations were special to me in a way that words can never describe.
Bite on, Dogteeth. Bite on.
Now that I'm home, it's just a matter of sorting through these pictures and posting the juciest ones online to expose these zoosers. I'll get to it soon, it's just that school is back in session, which matters to me just because my super hot girlfrield who's also a spy too is currently working as a teacher so yeah, I uh.. have to do stuff with that. Expect those pictures at some point in the future.
Stay vigilent out there fellow warriors. If this experienced proved anything to me, it's that this zoophilic scourge is worse than we ever could have imagined. But at least this trip was a step in the right direction.
This is xxxZoophileHater666xxx signing off.
Article written by Tarro (September 2025)... NOT.
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