Where Are The Zoos?
We here in the zoo community talk a lot about just how many zoos there are out there in the world. While we might have more than 10k on a few accounts on Twitter, how many of those are just bots? We might have more than a couple thousand on Discord, but only a couple hundred are ever really active. While the numbers we have definitely aren't small, especially compared to how big the community was just a few years ago, at the same time if we're trying to say that 5%ish of the world's population is zooey, that comes out to 410 million people that are animal attracted. That's a TON of people. More than the population of the whole of the United States. Just an absolutely massive number of people. But that begs the question. Where are they?
The technical answer here is simple. They're in hiding. It's not a super cool and awesome time to raise your hand for a zoo census so we can properly get into real population numbers. But, that doesn't mean we can't still see and feel their presence around us. As humans, it's in our DNA to want to leave our mark on the world . Some people definitely feel it more than others, but it's clear that it's at least to some degree a part of being human. We create art, we build statues, we carve our initials into trees to mark that we were here. Don't do that by the way, it's really bad for trees. Little aside there.
It's not just our names that we want to put out there though, it's who we are as people. Especially those artsy types, you know who you are, feel the need to put themselves into the world in much more abstract and interesting ways. It's also how we know about all the amazing zoos that have existed in history. Thanks to the guy that painted the picture of a human mating with some kind of four legged critter, we know that zoophiles existed way back in the stone age. And do you really think all the people writing myths about humans and animals and gods all going at it were doing it for the sake of making the story weird, and not because they were personally invested in that kind of content? Leda and the Swan, Pasiphaë and the Bull, Loki and the stallion Svadilfari. I think it's more reasonable than not to assume all those stories were written by zoophiles.
But that's all historical, and the point of this isn't to write about zoophilia throughout history. Even though that would be a great article, someone should get on that. No, my point is to ask the question here are the zoos today? Well, the reason I wanted to talk about history is because I think those zoo artists are still out there today, just working in more subtle ways.
It's time to talk about League of Legends. There's a champion in the game called Naafiri. She's a demon dog, but very much a dog. On her release, there was tons of attention given to her by the zoophiles and the feral enjoyers of the world. I mean, she's just a very attractive character. She's got that Nala from he Lion King energy where it's clear they made that Lioness know how to flirt. Her dance in game involves her raising her tail and flaunting her hips. It's not like there's a line where she says "Wow I really love smashing with humans" nor are any other characters like "Wow I would like to smash that dog" but the design is just very.. appealing. That's all well and good, but this April Fools, she got a skin where she's turned into a hotdog. Now, the skin is called "Glizzy Naafiri" but let's be real, everyone just calls it Hot Dog Naafiri. Which is interesting, considering she is in fact a hot dog. Now, Riot, the company that runs LoL is a huge corporation, I'm sure hundreds of people were invovled with making the champion, and then the skin, but is it impossible to think that some of those people were zoophiles? Is it totally unrealistic to believe that the character concept came from a zoo working on the game designing new champions who was like "I want to make a sexy demon dog"? Because what's the alternative? That they decided to make a demon dog and she just happened to be really sexy? It's not like we have an answer to the question, but I don't think it's an impossibility by any stretch of the imagination.
What if there are zoophiles all over media, making jokes and off comments here and there, finding the ways that they can put their attraction into the things that they're creating in small, subtle ways. I don't think it's crazy to assume that the person on the Baldur's Gate 3 team that pitched "Hey what if one of the romance scenes with the druid he turns into a bear" is someone that has previously though "It sure would be neat to get down with a bear" I don't think it's totally out of the realm of possibility that the person that keeps writing all the jokes about bestiality into Family Guy, and pushing for episodes where Brian the dog goes out on dates with women is someone who thinks sometimes about dogs and women dating and potentially doing bestiality. Is it really totally impossible to think that added in all the humans and Pokemon dating in Pokemon wasn't also someone interested in huans and animals dating in real life? It's not like there's a list of every single reference to zoophilia, joke or otherwise, out there on the internet, nor do I think every single example is necessarily a zoo trying to make a reference, but I mean think about it. How often do you think zoophilia or bestiality comes up as a thought in the heads of someone who isn't into it themselves? Especially in a positive enough light where they think "Hey, this might make a funny punchline"
I mean hell, I saw an ad for a shitty mobile game called "Wolf Game: Wild Animal Wars" where a wolf is trying to sneak into a little pond while a sexy lady is bathing. The wolf has big hearts in their eyes, the scene is pretty clear as to the implication. The ad on Youube is even called "🔞👀 Wolf Likes to Peek at human". Scrolling through the game's other ads, it's far from the only one with this kind of preme. There's lots involving either explicitly or implicitly sexual attraction between the human and the wolf. What is the point of that ad? To show off there are women in the game? It seems easier to do that without also making a wolf super attracted to them, no? I just feel like there's a real chance the person making the ad was just like "I like this, I'll make an ad about it."
So no, the zoo community doesn't have 410 million people currently in it, but that doesn't mean that there aren't zoos out there doing their thing, creating stuff that shows their zooeyness. It can be a big, scary thing having any real kind of presence as a zoo, but hey, pushing for a scene here, an animal character there, a joke with a zooey punchline. All those are things that people can use to leave their mark as well.
There are zoos all around us, leaving their marks in their own, unique ways where they can. And at some point, I hope that we can all become more open, and really display our pride more overtly. But for now, just remember, maybe there's a reason that cartoon dog is so attractive.
Article written by Tarro (April 2025)
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